Archive for the 'funny' Category

Top 10 Top 10 Lists for 2006

In the spirit of my recent obsession with abstraction, I’ll take a meta approach to the annual Top 10 list:

10. Starting with a strong one, the top 10 tips for growing old gracefully. I can imagine some funny variations on this, but this common sense stuff is always worth keeping in mind.

9. I like the Top 10 Animal Geeks from CNet UK which includes one of my favorite stories: Koko the gorilla. I’d also agree with SFGate that a few are missing.

8. Again, the common sense stuff makes for great lists. Here are the 10 business improvement recommendations.

7. Design geeks will enjoy the top 10 newspaper typefaces from 37Signals.

6. Similarly, for those of us watching MySpace mostly from the outside, here’s a nice insight. The top 10 MySpace page layout designs.

5. A sleepy one but definitely interesting to track year over year…the top 10 brands according to BusinessWeek.

4. Now we get into the good stuff. The top 10 sexiest geeks.

3. Green Wombat, the Business 2.0 blog from Todd Woody, is getting good. He recently posted The Top 10 Climate Change Influencers of 2006.

2. A tough call on whether this is number 1 or number 2, but either way, I love the Top 10 Rules for Top 10 Lists:

1. And the winner is…wait, we have a tie… Using rule #2 from the Top 10 Rules for Top 10 Lists which says “Start strong, end strong.”… At number one we have both the Top 10 Best Internet Acquisitions which was inspired by the Top 10 Internet Flops.

Write and hear your own presidential speech

I’m not much for browsing the web for the sake of browsing, but the recent coverage of StumbleUpon inspired me to try it again. It paid off immediately. My second click took me to this site.

Watch how I put together several audio snippets to write a 90-second speech for President Bush:

I’m turning into a mumbling idiot

I was comparing my feed collection with Micah Laaker the other day, and I realized that the scope of my intake just keeps getting narrower and narrower. Looking at other user’s lists in the Share your OPML system, it seems I’m not alone.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking about how I can possibly dive into big important topics like Israel or oil the way I want to knowing how much time and energy I put into understanding and acting on the extra-small-sized issues that are in my circle of influence.

It makes me think that the phrase “The more you know the more you don’t know,” was perhaps more pertinent when the universe of knowledge was less fluid. Jay Behr recently captured this problem articulately:

“The older we get the more esoteric our knowledge becomes until nobody understands what the hell we’re talking about anymore. I’m going to age into a mumbling idiot.”

Dotcom business ideas over a pint or two

DotCom Challenger
Photo: SimonD

I think everyone has had the experience of brainstorming a “great” dotcom business idea over drinks with friends. There were more than a few good and bad ideas thrown around the offices of The Industry Standard as the editors learned that the companies we were covering didn’t always deserve to make as much money as they did.

I had another one recently that was kind of interesting, though not really new in any way, so I thought I might just post it here and see if anything comes of it. I haven’t come up with a name for it, yet:

ProductX is a toy exchange network for parents of small children. It consists of a directory of toys available for members; a profile for each toy with ratings, comments, and user submitted videos; a queue for each member to track which toys will be shipped next; and a distribution system for receiving, storing and shipping toys. Anyone can become a member by contributing X toy(s) and paying a monthly fee. The toy contribution will be donated to charity. After joining, a member can select any 3 toys available from the directory. Members can only keep 3 toys at any one time and must return a toy to receive the next toy from this or her queue.

There was a variation on this theme that was also interesting that involved essentially ‘platformizing’ a swap system like this. That way you could focus member networks on specific types of products of similar value.

And just to put some perspective on my thinking here, these are some of the other ideas I’ve either heard, contributed to or invented myself (not telling which is which) and about when they were conceived:

  • ThingThunk.com (2005). The ultimate product review directory. Inspired by Wikipedia, ThingThunk allows anyone to add a product, rate a product, comment, submit video, etc. It’s the ultimate shopping assistant where you can get advice from other people who have actually bought and used a particular product.
  • Bioconomist.com (2005). The Industry Standard of the biotech industry. Insider analysis, heavy-hitting journalism, industry metrics, deal tracking and job listings.
  • Makingamockery.com (2002). Jack Ass meets Gong Show online. People submit videos of themselves doing stupid things. Users vote for favorite stunts, but, more importantly, users can request stunts. Successfully performed requests win cash prizes and appear on the accompanying weekly TV show. (I’m now realizing as I type this that it’s more like Jack Ass meets Y! Answers.)
  • PublishingPilot.com (2001). A UK-based CMS and hosting environment for small businesses to crank out web sites without having to know anything about anything. (I got some momentum behind this one including a somewhat high-powered board of directors before my personal bank account ran dry and MovableType appeared on the scene.)
  • LargeLifeStyles.co.uk (2001). Fashion retailer for larger-sized women. (Actually, I pulled this one off using my father-in-law’s resources in textiles in London. We morphed it into a shoe retailer that performed mildly well for a few months until we stopped updating it with new product.)
  • Sugarpimp.com (2000). Sponsored behavior modification. This idea arose out of my desire to keep a floater friend of mine unemployed and travelling so that I could continue to get his emails from strange places around the world. Then it hit me that you could create a market of sorts where you could get sponsors to fund all sorts of things. The obvious twist was that this would clearly turn into some kind of strange fetish/porn market.

And my personal favorite (courtesy of John Masterson)…

  • MyBeltWithHooks (1999). An offline clothing personalization platform. The belt would be very expensive but any third-party developer could create hooks to attach to it. One example of a third-party hook is the real-world search engine, a small child or dog that would attach to your belt and go find things on command.

Advertising irrelevance

Lots of laughs this week over the advertisements for hemorrhoid remedies on my site. I don’t know what that says about my posts.

One person asked what that said about my audience. The poor click-throughs suggest people who actually visit this web site must have comfortable chairs.

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